


Ride Or Die Bitches

by Kajedhorrors



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Blood, F/F, Monika is trying so hard to be patient, Murder, Natsuki isn't even actually in this fic, Natsuki's dad is in hell, Not a game!AU, The Natsuyuri is off screen, Yuri has no chill, just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 15:58:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajedhorrors/pseuds/Kajedhorrors
Summary: "Yuri...""I know.""Jesus Christ, Yuri.""I. Know."Monika and Yuri hide a body.





	Ride Or Die Bitches

Yuri counted the seconds before Monika spoke.

_Seven, Eight, Nine-_

"Yuri..." Monika started.

"I know," Yuri said wretchedly.

Monika put her face in her hands. "Jesus Christ, Yuri," She groaned.

"I. Know." Yuri snapped, refusing to look at the other girl.

Monika sighed and took a step forward, careful not to step into the sticky reddish puddle on the linoleum floor. She craned her neck to try to get a better look at the man's prostrate form.

"He's dead," Monika observed.

Yuri kept her mouth shut.

Monika's gaze traced the blood trail from the body across the floor, beneath the house phone, and over to the corner that Yuri had been standing awkwardly in for the twenty-three and a half minutes it had taken Monika to get over here.

"You _killed_ him," Monika said reproachfully.

"It was an accident!" Yuri hissed through her teeth.

"Seriously? You're going to try lying to me? Now?" She gestured stiffly towards the man lying dead in his kitchen floor and to the knife still sticking out of the side of his throat.

"I-" Yuri tapped her foot nervously and rubbed her arm through her sleeve. "I didn't mean for this to happen! I just wanted...." She looked away guiltily.

"Don't stop now," Monika deadpanned, "we were just making progress."

Yuri closes her eyes and takes a deep cleansing breath. "I just wanted to scare him," she says calmly.

Monika crossed her arms. "Did you?"

Yuri's eyes flick over to the dead body. "Eventually," she said.

"What could that possibly-" Monika started, but Yuri raised her voice defensively.

"I had my knife and I was pointing it at him and I just wanted him to be sorry for what he did, but he laughed at me and then I just," Yuri stopped herself before she could start to mime 'stabbing a man to death in his own home,' but Monika caught the start of the gesture and shook her head disapprovingly.

"Why did you kill Natsuki's dad, Yuri?"

Yuri crossed her arms over her blood-spattered blouse and glared at Monika. "He hurt her. He hurts her all the time."

"Natsuki said she broke her arm when she tripped down the stairs," Monika said tiredly, but it was obvious that she didn't believe it either.

Yuri laughed derisively. "Oh the stairs were certainly involved," She spat, "but she didn't fall, she was pushed."

"You sound very certain of yourself," Monika said.

"I was there!" Yuri said hysterically.

This seemed to catch Monika off guard. She raised her eyebrows. "You were in Natsuki's house?" She asked.

Yuri shifted uncomfortably. Clearly this was not going how she had hoped it would. "I was outside."

"Why were you outside Natsuki's house?" Monika asked, "At night?"

Yuri clammed up.

"Jesus Christ, Yuri," Monika groaned.

Yuri's face went red. "It's not what you think!" Yuri stammered.

"Do you want to know what _I_ think?" Monika asked.

Yuri shook her head.

"Then let me ask you _this_ ," Monika said sharply, "do you still want my help covering up the _murder_ you just committed?

Yuri looked at the floor, then at the man on the floor. She nodded slowly.

"So then let me ask you again," Monika said, "do you want to know what _I_ think?"

Yuri nodded reluctantly.

"I think Sayori finally got you and Natsuki to trade literature and then when Natsuki had given you a little bit of friendly attention you started obsessing again," Monika said sternly.

Yuri glowered at Monika's feet, saying nothing.

"So you were stalking Natsuki-" Monika continued.

"I wasn't stalking her," Yuri protested.

"Oh no, just lurking outside her house at night," Monika snapped.

Yuri stomped one foot. "Stop treating me like I'm some kind of criminal!" She whined.

"Yuri." Monika said flatly.

Yuri bit her lip and looked away sulkily. "It wasn't like that. I just wanted to see her," she whispers.

"This is not okay, Yuri," Monika said.

"I know," Yuri said.

"I thought you were doing better," Monika sighed.

"I... I'm sorry," Yuri said softly.

Monika stared at Yuri for another few seconds before sighing once more. "So you were outside when Natsuki got hurt?" Monika asked.

Yuri nodded slowly. "I heard them arguing, and then I heard her scream and fall down the stairs. I ran around to try the door but he wouldn't let me in. The ambulance got there pretty soon after, so I went back and hid."

"Natsuki's dad called 911?" Monika asked.

Yuri glowered at the mangled mess of human meat on the floor. "Only for plausible deniability," she growled. "He didn't care what happened to her."

Yuri glared at the carcass for so long that Monika had to clear her throat to get her attention. "Did he tell you that himself?"

Yuri fidgeted with her sleeves and huffed irritatedly. "I came to try to scare him into confessing. He was drunk. It was all just some big joke to him. He called Natsuki," Yuri ground her teeth, "the most awful names. He wasn't even sorry about what he did. I got angry," she admitted.

"I can see that," Monika sighed.

"Then I... called you," Yuri said for the sake of completeness.

"You thought I would know what to do with a dead body?" Monika asked incredulously.

"You're level-headed," Yuri shrugged, "And smart, and you didn't tell anyone about... what you found out about me..." Yuri rubbed her arms. It was no replacement for her old habits, but it helped, just a little bit.

Monika laughs. "You trusted me for that? That was-" She shook her head, "That was like... an embarrassing secret this is...." Monika gestured emphatically to the dead body.

Yuri went pale, her shoulders sagging. "You won't help me?" She asked frantically.

"Of course I'll help you," Monika said sharply, "don't think for a minute that I won't."

Yuri clutched at her sleeves. "Are you going to tell me that I should turn myself in for my own good?"

Monika rolled her eyes. "God no, stop putting words in my mouth, we're going to cover up the murder."

Yuri winced. "I don't like that word," she said.

Monika stared at her. "Well I doubt he liked the word either when it was happening to him," she said.

Yuri looked pained. "Monika, please."

Monika spread her arms. "What do you want me to say? Inhumed? Released to Elsewhere?"

Yuri didn't meet Monika's eyes. Monika sighed.

"You had some time before I got here to think about this, do you have any ideas for how to get rid of him?" Monika asked.

"I thought maybe we could write a fake suicide note? Make it look like he killed himself?" Yuri said hopefully.

"Like in Heathers?" Monika asked flatly.

"Do you think that'll work?" Yuri asked.

Monika slowly swiveled her head to study the dead man. He was short for a grown man, maybe an inch shorter than Yuri. His face was slack and splattered with blood. Monika noticed at least thirty seven stab wounds on his chest, neck, and shoulders, including the one that still had the knife in it. Monika looked back at Yuri. She shook her head.

"I suppose not..." Yuri said.

"That does give me an idea though," Monika mutters.

"What is it?" Yuri asked excitedly.

"He might have run away," Monika said hesitantly. "He might have been scared that he finally pushed Natsuki far enough for her to tell somebody what was happening. Maybe he grabbed a few things and skipped town before the police could come knocking at his door."

"You think that will work?" Yuri asked.

Monika sighed. "We'll have to clean up the kitchen, burn your clothes, get some of his things together, take his car as far away from here as we can, and do something about the body."

"Right," Yuri said, "The body..."

"Come on," Monika said, stepping around the puddle of blood. "I have gloves and a tarp in my bag, we can wrap him up until we're ready to deal with him. We've got to clean and sanitize the blood stains before they dry completely."

"How did you think of all this stuff?" Yuri asked.

"It's research for my writing, but that's what I'd tell you even if it wasn't true," Monika said absently, pulling a saw and some plastic bags out of her duffel bag.

Yuri looked at her uncertainly.

Monika was unimpressed. "I haven't killed anyone," she said. "Believe it or not there are better ways to solve your problems than murder."

Monika and Yuri pulled the tarp out and laid it out on the ground. They put on rubber gloves and stood on either end of the body. They struggled a bit, but eventually they had him wrapped up into a blue burrito.

Monika wiped her brow and started pulling the cleaning supplies out of her bag.

"You-" Yuri started, clearing her throat. "You were right. Earlier. About Natsuki. I... like her."

Monika nodded absently. "That's good. She's going to need someone on her side."

"I never meant to hurt her," Yuri said.

Monika shook her head and looked up at Yuri. "You can never tell her," she said.

Yuri looked furious. "You don't understand! I have to be with her! I can't stop thinking about her! She's the most important person in my life! When she smiles, my heart races and my stomach flutters and I don't know what to do with myself. I lov-"

She stopped when she noticed Monika's patient expression. Yuri looked slowly back at the body. Her face went red.

"Oh, you meant..."

"Obviously," Monika said flatly.

"The um..." Yuri waved vaguely.

"The murder?" Monika asked.

Yuri winced. "I don't like that word..."

Monika threw a roll of garbage bags at Yuri's head.

**Author's Note:**

> A little idea that wouldn't go away. Written in a couple hours, beta-read by my brother.  
> Monika hasn't actually done anything like this before, she's just well-read. She would help any member of the literature club cover up a murder though. Especially this one. She would have helped *commit* this murder if she'd been asked.


End file.
